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God would be an atheist...
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April - July 2008: This site is being renovated - apologies if some links do not work. To return to the home page, click here Column 10: In the Country of the Blind Religion and sex By © Martin Foreman Word Count: 794 words Publication date: April 10, 2005 Death is always a tragedy. The loss of a life is the loss of a personality that can never be replaced. The tragedy is greatest when a young person dies without the opportunity to strive for and perhaps achieve their dreams. There is least tragedy in the death of the old when their lives have been full and when they have helped others to live well. The loss of Karol Wojtyla is as great a loss as any who die. But in recognizing that loss we should also recognize that the tragedy that surrounded him lay in his life, not his death. His failure to understand one of humanity’s basic needs – sexual expression – led to misery for millions of men and women and children across the world. In the Philippines, the Church’s refusal to condone reliable birth control has burdened parents with offspring that they cannot properly feed, clothe or educate. In Africa, the stigmatization of condoms has led to millions of people, including babies, becoming infected with HIV. In the Americas, hostility towards homosexuality underpins bigotry, violence and murder from Wyoming to Rio de Janeiro. To be fair, the Catholic church is not unique. No religion understands sexuality. From lack of understanding comes fear, and out of fear comes a need to control. Jewish, Christian and Muslim morality is based not on the reality of sexual desire but on millennia-old notions of inheritance, fertility and the subjugation of women. Through the blinkered eyes of religion sex has only one goal: to produce children within marriage. Only married couples who have produced children or are theoretically capable of doing so are allowed the privilege of intimacy. Of course sex is essential for procreation, as fingers and thumbs are essential in enabling us to manipulate tools. But restricting sex to procreation is as unreasonable as denying our hands the pleasure of making music. As human beings we have the ability – the right – to realize our full potential, including our potential for sexual pleasure. That does not mean that sex should be untrammeled. It needs rules, but rules no different from any other human activity. Cause no harm is the primary commandment. That means adultery is out unless all three parties are aware of and happy with it. Abuse of children and others who cannot give their free consent is a definite no-no. Transmitting disease is off the agenda. But that is all the regulation we need. Sex is both heavy with and void of meaning. It is a mirror which reflects your and your partner’s minds. If you bring guilt, sex will torment you with guilt. If you bring love, sex will return it. Sex can be shallow. It can be deeply moving. It can bring nausea or ecstasy. Sex tells you – if you are willing to listen – who you are, what you want and who you can be. Above all sex allows you to give your partner the greatest of all gifts – joy. Most priests, rabbis and imams either do not practice sex or have limited experience of it. Ignorant of its potential breadth and depth, they interpret sex through fear and dogma, seeing it as a powerful force that threatens, rather than benefits, society. Willing and able to restrict their own sexuality – or willing and able to lie about it – they insist that others act as they do or say. Yet we are all different and the circumstances of our lives vary. What is simple for an elderly priest in Rome may be impossible for a young woman in Romania. You wish no more children? Too bad; procreate or deny yourselves intimacy. Your most intimate relations are with others of your own sex? Tough; spend a lifetime denying yourself and your partner(s) the deepest expression of love. You fear illness and death from HIV? Throw away that condom and allow yourself to be infected. A century ago in the short story In the Country of the Blind, British writer H G Wells described a society where people who had lost their sight considered that those who could see were deranged and their eyes were the source of their madness. In their belief that they understand sexuality, religious leaders – particularly those who are celibate – are equally deluded. Allowing priests to dictate the boundaries of sex is like appointing the illiterate as censors. Most American Catholics are more attuned to human nature than their leaders. They understand that birth control is an act of responsibility and love. They are aware that gay men and women deserve to live as freely as their heterosexual brothers and sisters. They understand that abstinence is not the only option to protect oneself from disease. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that Karol Wojtyla’s successor will share their common sense and empathy.
April - July 2008: This site is being renovated - apologies if some links do not work. To return to the home page, click here |
If God existed, he would... If God existed, he would be an atheist. Looking for... sex? drugs? Jesus? Search this site FOOD FOR THOUGHT "Today belief in God is crazy, pointless and sometimes downright harmful, but that wasn't always the case. Religion helped us evolve from primates dominated by short-term instinct into human beings capable of forming sophisticated societies." The evolution of religion "The United States prides itself on championing freedom and in enshrining the pursuit of happiness in its constitution. It is ironic that so many Americans espouse a moral code whose impact is to restrict both freedom and happiness. America needs moral values, but values that respect and honor every citizen." What moral values? |