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This website is being renovated throughout 2008. Pages and the content of pages will continue to change until the end of the year and there may be some inconsistencies and missing links. Please do not quote from or link to specific pages (apart from the home page) without contacting the webmaster first. Paranoia, fear and the whole caboodle Why some religions fail By © Martin Foreman Word Count: 794 words Publication date: May 28, 2006 Last week on God would be an atheist... we explored the superuniverses of Urantia, hissed the evil galactic warlord Xemu, learned that good Mormons get to be god of their own little planet and discovered that the real Pope lives in Kansas. Another time we’ll get to meet the Filipino preacher who says he’s Jesus and the cult that once worshiped the Duke of Edinburgh as God. (A reminder for non-royalists: the Duke is the husband of Queen Elizabeth of Britain, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and various small islands in between.) Religion is like sex. You start off thinking there are only one or two ways of doing it but the more you look into it, the more variety you see. Sex and religion have other things in common. They both bring pleasure to those who practice them and participants often find themselves on their knees making strange, ritual noises. The downside is that to observers both are absurd. I enjoy sex but I am aware that the average human copulating is not a pretty sight. Similarly, hundreds of men and women singing hymns or bowing their head in prayer may be having the time of their lives, but I’m nauseated by their sheep-like behavior. The absurdity of religion is more than visual. I have never understood how supposedly intelligent people can sincerely believe that trillions of aliens were once blown up in volcanoes (the core belief of Scientology) or that two naked humans once debated eating fruit with a talking snake (Judaism and Christianity). But if all religions are bizarre, why do some succeed and others fail? Urantia, for example, is slightly more logical than Christianity, but it’s hardly a household name. Scientology boasts money and celebrity names but very few followers. Pope Michael preaches to a tiny flock in the mid-West, not to the thousands who throng St Peter’s Square. What are these mini-faiths doing wrong and what are their bigger rivals doing right? In most cases, the answer is simple: flexibility. You’re a gay Christian? Go join the Metropolitan Community Church. You worship Jesus but disapprove of two men or two women getting it on? Head for Rome. Paranoid, rabid and obsessed by same-sex relations? You want “the Reverend” Phelps and his God Hates Fags groupies. The Bible is the literal word of God? Head for the aptly named Bible Belt. The Holy Book should be interpreted according to our changing understanding of the world? You’re an Episcopalian. Not sure about the whole Trinity thing? Check out the Unitarians. Muslim? What kind? Full burqa? You’d be at home in Tehran. Merely modest? Once I would have said Baghdad or Cairo, but the winds of ignorance and bigotry are blowing harder there. Move further west along the Mediterranean or head north into nominally Christian Europe. You get the picture. Whatever your particular concerns, the major religions will find a niche for you. As long as you subscribe to the basic premise – Jesus died for our sins, Israel is the promised land, the Buddha pointed the way to Nirvana – you can happily call yourself a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, no matter how what differences you have with others of your faith. Other factors can strengthen a religion. Fear worked for centuries in Christian Europe when the penalty for denying God was ostracism or death. Islam is currently big on fear; death sentences are frequently handed out to those born Muslim who leave the faith. Community is also a factor. Unhappy, lonely, want someone to tell you that everything is ok? The doors are open at your local place of worship, complete with father figure and surrogate family. The truly successful churches offer not just the weekly service but a range of feel-good events from Bible Study to soccer games. Smaller religions offer a sense of community, although they may tip over into paranoia (think Jonestown or Heaven’s Gate). They are also big on fear, although they are less likely to execute you than convince you that you cannot survive in the Big Bad World. They stay small because they insist you buy the whole caboodle. A Urantian cannot accept the Superuniverses but reject the Nether and Upper Paradises. A Scientologist who questions even one of its tenets is a heretic who must be persecuted. Followers of Pope Michael must also be convinced that sugar is bad for priests on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Most of us find it difficult to be on message 100 percent of the time. No wonder the bigger faiths are more attractive and only a few of us end up as Branch Dravidians. That’s good news. The relative freedom afforded by the bigger religions offers a glimmer of hope that one day reason will overcome the superstition that currently prevails.
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If God existed, he would... admire the beauty of a universe that he did not create recognize that eternity is meaningless deny both heaven and hell disown all men and women who speak in his name denounce the harm caused by religious "morality" help the human race to thrive without him If God existed, he would be an atheist. |